guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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