i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
