I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
