No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Randomize
