I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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