your thong is hanging out like whoa
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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