At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
