jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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