I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
