you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
