What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
