where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
