you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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