But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
