How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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