If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
