I'm eating all of the evidence.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
