"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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