I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
