kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Every concussion has its silver lining
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
