YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Randomize
