Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
