ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
worst night to have a conscience
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Randomize
