i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
My vagina just recognized that song.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
