i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
