I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
