While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
