wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
