If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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