omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
