i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
