Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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