I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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