she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Randomize
