nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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