So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
