Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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