I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
