I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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