be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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