that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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