spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
