I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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