I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
