i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
