She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
