Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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