i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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