can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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