They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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