She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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