Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
